Don’t Bet On The EU Referendum Being Sensible

UK leaving EU

With the entire country placing a bet on the EU Referendum this summer you could be forgiven for thinking the British have caught whatever terrible malady has befallen the Americans and given rise to Donald Trump. Certainly there are similarities between the US Presidential Election and the battle over Brexit; The stakes are massive, the people involved are ghastly and if there were any chance of an informed choice being made it vanished ages ago along with the media’s credibility.

EU Referendum

  • Betfair Odds
  • Remain 2/7
  • Leave 11/4

Of course the disease of the moment is the Zika Virus, a mosquito-borne illness that causes no discernible harm unless you’re pregnant, but should you be infected whilst pregnant gives you around a one in three chance of giving birth to a child suffering from Microcephaly, an arrest of the development of the head, leading to lifelong disability. You need not even get bitten by a mosquito, as the disease can also be spread by sexual contact between humans and has, at this point, no cure.

Should a treatment not be found relatively soon (don’t worry, it will, as soon as lots of white people get it someone will invent one) the future of the human race is a little bleakly dystopian where perhaps 30% of the population is a less-intelligent sub-species, and the fear of infected kids lower the birth rate even further than it has already fallen in some nations. Naturally whilst this all sounds like a bad sci-fi novel, the fact that the UK government has bet on the EU referendum proves Zika is not the only challenge to our intelligence.

Everyone knew the Brexit battle would be a bit bonkers, but no one in the UK bet on the EU referendum actually producing such a wave of lies, damned lies and statistics, a confusing contradictory mess of “facts” from both sides none of which the opposing side will accept as being even slightly true. I’m gambling news that this mirrors Donald Trump’s election efforts in the US will come as no surprise to anyone who has watched the Republican Party in the states treat its supporters like mushrooms, keeping them in the dark and feeding them on shit, till they believed all they said.

Donald Trump; The Rise Of Stupid

Somewhat ironically Donald Trump has all the intelligence of a mosquito, but those behind his bid for power are using the climate of fear created after the end of the cold war by governments unable to bring prosperity for all and needed a way to cling to power. The conspiracy theories about the west being responsible for the rise of Islamic Fundamentalist Terrorism ™ may be erroneous (they’re not, but lets pretend) however if you’re going to bet on the EU referendum result you’ll have to take into account that these days, people will believe anything. Trump’s progress proves it…

Donald Trump stupid and dangerous

The Brilliant and phenomenal Mr Trump, best guy that ever walked the face of the Earth (Photo: REUTERS/BRIAN SNYDER)

Perhaps this then is why the Vote Leave campaign, those supporting Brexit, have spend their entire time emulating the small-handed wig wearing wally from across the pond. They have barraged the public with misleading figures, half-truths and outright slander in order to get ahead of the campaign to keep Britain in Europe, and by now one should be able to bet on the EU referendum voting for the UK to remain within the EU with the carefree air of one placing a bet on sports in the UK, but their ridiculous farce of a campaign is actually working.

In the US the Republican Party has been horrified that their own long term strategy of keeping people afraid has given rise to Trump, in the UK the Conservative government is just as bewildered having been just as instrumental in the elevation of their now enemy. I say “now enemy” because if there was one sure fire winning bet on the EU referendum it was that it would split the Conservatives as much as Trump has the Republicans, only for once the British are doing it bigger than the Americans.

A Bet On The EU Referendum No Longer A Sure Thing

It is hard to describe just how loathsome all the major players are in this farce. David Cameron leads a conservative government with a reputation of a reformed criminal (we don’t mind them but we don’t trust them either) that has bet on the EU Referendum voting to Remain in the EU, whilst ranged against him are his own cabinet colleagues and other notable members of his party like Michael Gove or Boris Johnson both of which are hugely loathsome. The former believing its still the 1950s, the latter not caring as long as he gets to be Prime Minister.

EU Referendum Sure Thing

*’The Clash’ playing in the background* (Photo: AFP/Getty Images via

The British public might think the establishment have bet on the EU referendum laying to rest the in-or-out question for good, but really this is a battle for the soul of the Conservative party, and whilst in the States the Republicans reel from their loss to Trump, if you’re in the UK gambling laws of common sense will prevent the same thing happening to Cameron and crew, guess again, some polls now put the Vote Leave campaign ahead, and the gap in odds at the bookies is diminishing.

If you want to bet on the EU referendum vote going against remaining in Europe you’ll find Betfair have odds of about 11/4 right now, which isn’t too bad, but then the Remain campaign is garnering a slightly better 2/7 which will no doubt shorten a little as football fans spend the next month watching European Football at the EURO 2016 Finals in France. The Zika Virus may one day dumb down the world even further than the Vote Leave and Trump campaigns already have, but until then a good indicator of stupidity levels will be if the UK votes to leave the continent its part of and the US elects Trump.

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