Vile events have been taking place in the picturesque tropical hotspot of Penang, eyewitnesses reported to online gambling news in Malaysia.
“Things against the very laws of nature, that no school child, senior citizen, or imam should ever witness,” witnesses have reported at yesterday’s press conference.
Curiously, these tales of corruption did not touch upon the roving packs of thieving transsexual prostitutes, the drug dealers, the counterfeiters, the sex slavers, and the hustlers who are found on practically every block assaulting and harassing tourists.
The press conference focused on a much more important issue – detailed the evils of online casinos in Malaysia and the consequences of their unholy presence.
A local NGO (non-government organization) will be petitioning the governor of Penang to immediately strengthen Malay gambling laws “before it’s too late and violence, genocide and corruption will enter Islamic society.”
Over 300 Foreign Online Casinos in Malaysia
According to Islam Gabungan Ama a spokesman for the Brotherhood of the Islamic Warriors, the secular apolitical NGO wants the governor to plead their case directly to Kuala Lumpur in order to bring Malay gambling laws in line with Islamic Sharia laws.
The group strongly believes that social ills forecast long ago by sages can be interpreted as a cataclysm caused by gambling in Malaysia which will devour the pious in the corrupt (in the same manner that Sodom and Gomorra were destroyed according to the Old Testament.)
Pertubuhan Pertiga, a spokesperson for the group, considered moderate, told the news conference that online gambling in Malaysia can be found everywhere and could cause the destruction of the Malay true believers at the hands of the infidels.
“Robbery, divorce, suicides and cheating will become rampant and our society can break up because of gambling unless we begin enforcing Sharia Laws as Allah commanded,” screamed a large group of bearded secular NGO officials.
The spokesperson statet that there is strong suspicion that ‘every single non-Muslim owned internet café in Penang’ (around 300) offer easy access to foreign casinos, sports betting, poker, and even online bingo games in Malaysia.
The spokesman explained that the innocent Muslims walking past these dens of gambling vice in Penang may become corrupted by the very presence of so much evil, unless something is immediately done by federal or state authorities.
“Our aim is to soon hold a peaceful demonstration and not to cause any disorder for we are warriors of the religion of peace. We want the State Government to take this issue very seriously,” the spokesman said before adding “If they don’t listen, we will avenge such a terrible insult to Islam. True believers will burn every online casino in Malaysia and with their very hands rip them apart stone by stone and punish those who offended Islam as it is ordered in the holy Quran. Allahu Akbar.”