With the Academy rejecting the idea of a “popular” category being added to the pantheon of awards doled out each year you can just bet on the Oscars committee is scrabbling around for something to replace it so we present seven suggestions for them to mull over, although I’d not put a wager on at Bovada, one of the best online betting sites in the United States, that anyone will win a golden statue for any of these in the near future (although with Hollywood you can never be sure).
1. Best Car Chase
This staple of the silver screen is often much maligned for being unrealistic and a mere distraction from the storyline or plot of a particular film, however some examples have risen to the status of high art. From the French Connection to Ronin, The Blues Brothers to Bullitt there are some that are deserving of an award and you could bet on the Oscars getting a few more viewers in the demographic almost every blockbuster seems to be aimed at these days were it included in the ceremony next time round.
2. Best Gratuitous Nudity
Whether it’s The Master or Barbarella, Piranha 3D or Flesh Gordon there has always been a good portion of Hollywood’s output that has allowed the unnecessary and baseless exposition of the naked form to creep into their productions, and in these enlightened times we shouldn’t be surprised at this dwelling on titillation and instead celebrate it in a mature fashion, although these days anyone in the US gambling news coverage of such an award would be anything but a parade of faux outrage is nuts.
3. Best Title Sequence Or Credits
With some films the very best thing you can summon up the courage to say is that the credits were interesting, or that the opening scene was amazing, because it usually indicates the rest of it was the product of a cow’s husband. However from Around The World In 80 Days to This Is Spinal Tap, from Zombieland to Soylent Green, there are some superb first moments and some excellent parting gifts which ought be rewarded, but don’t bet on the Oscars committee doing so at Bovada just yet, will you?
4. Best Established Cliché
There are some tropes the cinema just can’t put down and turn up so often they’ve become laughably clichéd but that doesn’t mean they can’t be done well, at least not in theory, so perhaps there should be an award for this category, so we could bet on the Oscars at sites like Bovada and back our favorite. After all someone somewhere must be doing the Baddie-Tells-The-Hero-His-Evil-Plan scene well enough to win an award, and that “It was all just a dream” concept can’t always be appalling, can it?
5. Best Example Of Sexism
Every year another piece of misogynistic rubbish gets released to much eye-rolling from certain quarters, but be it Grease or Twighlight, James Bond or Love Actually, these ghastly pieces of cinema can go unnoticed for their criminal treatment of women and be swept along on plaudits for their other dubious attractions however you can bet on the Oscars highlighting their crimes and anyone in the US gambling laws of commercial reality won’t eventually create this category hasn’t been paying attention.
6. Best Waste Of Money, Talent & Time
Sometimes movie magic produces wondrous and stunning spectacles replete with memorable scenes, superb performances and amazing dialogue, and sometimes it just doesn’t. Big stars and big studios can’t guarantee big box office success and working on a cost-to-revenue ratio it would be simple to work out just which blockbuster from tinsel town is most deserving of this prize and it would allow those of us that bet on the Oscars to make some easy money at Bovada. Just pick any comic adaptation.
7. Best Acceptance Speech
Those that like to bet on sports in the US will already be familiar with the “Live” or “In Game” betting possibilities created by sites like Bovada and you should bet on the Oscars to institute something similar in the near future to allow you to wager on which of the recipients will give the best speech on the night. Other books on who would be first to cry, who would thank the most people or who would say something political or profane would also be available making the event far more fun.