In case you haven’t noticed, slot games are taking over the world. That’s not entirely a good thing as many of the games out there are very low quality.
Slot games make up the most lucrative part of the online casino industry, accounting for the majority of revenue in both land-based and online casinos. Countless sites like the appropriately-named All Slots Casino and Spin Palace specialize in these games. They are present everywhere on the internet for two reasons: #1 the excitement and novelty are very popular with players, and #2 they carry a higher house edge than other casino games, making them very popular with providers. While these games are tremendously popular not all of them are very high quality. We’ll run through some of the worst (and one of the best) slot games out there.
Why do online casinos seem so obsessed with kitschy Orient-themed slot games? Players must be responsive to this kind of marketing, but it’s really ridiculous. Judging by the name I would expect en erotic massage parlor or at the very least an adult-themed slot game.
• Slot machines make up the majority of revenue for both land-based and online casinos
• Many online casinos specialize in slot games
• Popular trends are pop culture slots inspired by films and celebrities
Geisha Wonders is neither of those. It features inauthentic Japanese symbols like tea pots, hand fans, exotic Asian carp and…wait for it…kittens. What could be more Japanese than that?
Cheesiness aside, how is the gameplay? Not very good either. The jackpots are small compared to many other games available. The folks at Net Entertainment have made lots of good slot games, but Geisha Wonders isn’t one of them.
Bar Bar Black Sheep available at online casino in the UK Bet365 seems to be made precisely for a child. We’re not saying that Bet365 serves underage customers but if they did, this the slot which they would play. This game features, you guess it, features mostly pictures of sheep scrolling across the screen. In no way is this interesting.
On practical matters, there are only three reels and one wild, multiplier symbol, the black sheep. The bar-bar-black sheep three-reel combination provides the games largest jackpot. Bet365 touts this slot as a great game for beginning players to learn the ropes. That is, if they don’t fall asleep.
The Devil’s Delight
This horror-movie inspired slot from Net Entertainment probably won’t chill your bones and keep you up shaking at night, but its creepiness definitely makes it a “horrific” slot. It features all the devilish symbols you’d expect, including devils, baby devils, cauldrons, minions, the number of the beast, and pentagrams. The music is cheesy but the graphics are spot on, and you can even win a 40,000 coin payout.
In contrast to most of the other slots on this list, The Devil’s Delight is actually a pretty good game. Its horrific for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Do you remember the kitschy old “horror” (using the term loosely here) movie from 1954 Creature from the Black Lagoon? The movie was outrageously silly but became a cult classic. Guess what, it’s also a slot game. It made our list for two reasons: it was technically inspired by a horror film, and the slot itself is so ridiculous as to be accurately called horrific.
We were disappointed with the stylistic content of the game. There are five reels, but the symbols are all pretty unimaginative. Binoculars, fire extinguishers, knives? Nothing worth keeping our attention.
Sappy crap until the end of time
Immortal Romance seems to be inspired by the Twilight Series (don’t tell anyone, but I saw one of them in the theater), being a “dark tale of love and intrigue.” That’s its main downfall. It appears to be a lame, quasi-sexual slot for bored single women in their 20s. It isn’t all that stylistically appealing: basic card symbols dressed up in gothic styles and pictures of attractive men and women we take to be vampires: Amber, Troy, Michael and Sarah.
We all like romance and hope it will last forever, but here’s to hoping that this masterpiece of internet betting in the UK will go away as soon as possible. Microgaming has made lots of great slot games, but this one demonstrates that the pop culture trend within the industry has gone too far.
British and American gambling laws
prohibit marketing to children and online casinos say they don’t do it, but this ingeniously named slot looks to have a target market ages 8-12. Even more so than Bar Bar Black Sheep. An adorable witch pulled right out of a children’s book, a cartoon ghost, a Jack-O-Lantern and get this, a lolly pop symbol. Seriously. This is a simple game with only three reels (it has to be simple if it’s going to be played by 8-year olds). The only upside is the EUR 100,000 payout. You can buy a lot of candy with that.
One of these slots just doesn’t belong
In a major departure from the other slots on this list, Tiger vs. Bear is here because its horrifically brilliant. For years I’ve fantasized about the thrill of watching a Siberian tiger duke it out with a fully-grown Grizzly Bear. Well, Microgaming finally gave it to me. The battle feature is the best thing this 5-reel slot has to offer: if you land a tiger on the first reel and a bear on the fifth (or vice versa) the two animals go into battle. The player must choose a winner, if chosen correctly they awarded 8 free spins. There are numerous other bonus features to keep the player entertained. The music is pretty bad, but that’s the only thing not to like.