The beauty possessed by Melania Trump is more than enough to make up for all the ugliness in our world. Therefore, it’s only natural to find ourselves daydreaming about the iconic squint. We all think about it, and we all want it. If you are tired of lower-eyelid-muscle exercises – that show no results whatsoever – welcome! You have now arrived at your destination. I present you a 360 plan for your Melanification, a series of plastic surgeries for the permanent Melania look, covered by (potentially) winning Ivanka bets.
Apparently, the First Lady’s impact has reached our everyday lives, especially when it comes to our appearance. Melania Trump has a memorable look. It doesn’t matter whether it was surgically enhanced or godgiven, it is – most definitely – a look. And it seems that many of us want that look. There’s nothing new under the sun. In the late nineties it was ‘the Rachel’, today it is ‘the Melania’.
“There’s no question that whenever an attractive, popular figure appears in the media a lot,” people will try to copy their look, said Alan Matarasso, a New York surgeon. But what characterizes the Melania? First and foremost, the considerably elevated lower-eyelid, aka the squint. To achieve that level of lower-eyelid-muscle strength, you’d probably need to lift (?), take supplements and follow a strict diet. Therefore, nobody can blame you for choosing the easier path, aka the knife. Now the only question is: how much for a complete Melania?
Dr Dev Patel’s estimate of Melania Trump’s, alleged, surgical costs was £10,000-£12,000. The package includes skin peels and treatments, forehead contouring, fillers, botox, buccal fat removal, radio frequency tightening, and lip enhancement. Considering the amount of procedures, £12k is a bargain. Houston plastic surgeon, Franklin Rose’s menu includes a ‘Melania makeover’ package, that covers “rhinoplasty, liposuction, Brazilian buttock lift, and eyelid lift”. However, before running to Dr Rose or your local surgeon, please take a moment to meditate. Getting a Melania is a huge commitment. AHA toners, serums, and potions will become a must, twice, daily. Are you ready for it?
Who should get the Melania?
- Kindergarten teachers and policemen
- The slightly cold and emotionless look evokes fear and obedience. The melanaification of civil servants should be paid from tax money.
- Fortune tellers
- With the squint, you’ll appear to be gazing into the future, 24/7, just ask Amanda McWallace.
- Drag queens
- You will be booked forever, and the RuPaul gig is probably guaranteed.
How to pay for a Melania? With winning Ivanka bets.
Do you have £10,000+ for a permanent Melania? If your answer is
Like everything thats good in life, melanaification costs a lot. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have the money to get your Melania done; I have a possible solution. The first step is to head over to Unibet Sportsbook and place a bet on Ivanka Trump winning the Nobel Peace Prize (80/1). The next step is a long-term investment, which can earn you the cost of a complete Melania by 2020. Visit Bet365 Sportsbook and bet on Ivanka Trump becoming the president of the US in 2020 (80/1). If you bet enough money and the events win, you’ll have enough money to pay for the complete Melania makeover.