Sepp Blatter Sets Up Defense By Breaking Down

Sepp Blatter feeling ill

Sepp Blatter is having a breakdown? Why aren’t I surprised? What’s next? Claiming he has the corporate equivalent of kleptomania? Now if only Premier League games were as easy to predict as the machinations of legal eagles defending the indefensible criminality of the old and rich.

Sepp Blatter Breaks Down

• Blatter hospitalized
• “Nervous shock”
• Is he doing a Saunders?

Predicting Premier League results isn’t as easy as it looks. Chelsea getting beaten by Stoke, owned by the family behind Bet365, last weekend made a mockery of my abilities in the field and, at probably made a few loyal Potters fans a little richer at the 12/5 odds that were being offered prior to kick-off.

Of course whilst Premier League scores might fox me it doesn’t take a genius to predict the reactions of the guilty, the investigated and the implicated in ever deepening chasm of the FIFA corruption scandal. This week Sepp Blatter, the fat controller of footballs governing body for far longer that was healthy, went to hospital having suffered a “small emotional breakdown”.

My Premier League predictions might be off the mark (indeed betting against any prediction I make could turn out to be one of the most successful sports betting strategies ever created) but you can be assured that Sepp Blatter will now attempt to avoid jail time for his rampant greed and criminality by claiming ill-health.

His “nervous shock” (they really called it that) almost certainly just a set up for the theater to come, a tragedy even worse than Premier League table leaders Man City being held to a draw by Aston Villa sat in the Premier League relegation, where the chubby Swiss twister Sepp Blatter appears wearing an oxygen mask in a wheel chair claiming he has Alzheimer’s and can’t remember anything since World War II.

A draw against Man City might be worth a sing-along for Villa fans

This medical malarkey has a certain amount of precedent that Sepp Blatter might be emulating. The case of Ernest Saunders in deep financial trouble with the Serious Fraud Office over the illegal Guinness share support scheme back in the 1990s comes to mind, where the Chairman first said he had the degenerative mental disorder and then, when his jail time was halved on appeal and he was released, suddenly made a complete and full recovery.

Some have already pointed out that Sepp Blatter suffering a breakdown is perfectly normal, that getting caught with one’s entire genitals (not just fingers) in the till is bound, they say, to make one a little nervous and shocked, but it is only UK gambling laws forbidding wagers on suffering that prevent me betting the farm on this being just the start of a very disingenuous legal defense by Blatter.

Fortunately for me there’s no Premier League fixtures this weekend so I can’t make any predictions that will prove wholly wrong and foolish, and instead there are four important international fixtures as the play-offs for Euro 2016 kick off. You’ll find all the odds, and more besides, at Bet365 Sportsbook but whilst I can predict the tactics of old fat criminals like Sepp Blatter I won’t even begin to try and predict that results of those games.

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