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7 Ways To Detect VX Nerve Gas In Your Local Casino

casino attack

As it becomes increasingly obvious that agents of Kim Jong-un used VX nerve agents to kill his half brother Kim Jong-nam in a Malaysian airport the attractions of staying at home and gambling on Bet365 grow massively, however some will still misguidedly feel gambling in public to be more fun and so we take a moment to highlight seven ways you can tell if this deadly toxin has been introduced into the ventilation system of your local casino.

1. The DHS Have Decontamination Showers In The Parking Lot

One need not even enter the confines of your local casino to spot the tell tale signs that VX nerve gas has been released into the ventilation system. Homeland Security, in a valiant attempt to justify their massive budget, alarmist paranoia and destruction of civil liberties, will probably already be on the scene and their decontamination units are likely to be clearly marked. Should you see range of military style vehicles surrounded by petty self-important fools with guns, consider gambling at Bet365 instead.

2. The Staff Are In Respirators & Hazmat Suits

This can seem a bit obvious but you’d be surprised at how many people in a hurry to take advantage of US gambling laws miss this as they stroll into their local casino. Should you discover the waitress, hostess or bar staff are wearing M40 US military grade respirators or an OSHA Level A Hazmat suit from Dupont there may be urgent need for you to reconsider your plans for the evening and a retreat to the safety of your home and the ease and comfort of Bet365 should definitely be top of the list.

3. There Is Fresh Air Inside Your Local Casino

Casino smoking

If the air clears up inside your casino, something might be wrong (photo: nytimes.com)

VX Nerve agents are famous for being colorless and odorless, a great improvement on those awful smelly unsightly gaseous weapons of mass destruction and human suffering people used to use, and indeed this, in the enclosed environment of your local casino, can be a dead giveaway because if there’s one thing the normal air quality in your local casino has never been, it’s odorless. If you suddenly discover you can no longer smell the fat man at the next slot machine over sweating, leave quickly.

4. All The North Koreans Leave At Once

Obviously assassinations are well organized operations undertaken by some of the best and brightest and the popular concept of the lone gunman is a bit of a myth with numerous people involved in even the simplest hit. This means if all the North Koreans suddenly exit your local casino it should leave anyone in the US gambling news has got around that the gas is on its way and they too ought retire to a safe distance, say their own sofa, and gamble at Bet365 instead where the only gases will be their own.

5. Wide Spread Vomiting Among Patrons

The effects of VX Nerve gas are quite well known. The use of similar agents on modern day battlefields around the world, as well as in several high profile terrorist attacks (like that one in Sweden last night the fake media refuse to tell you about) means we’re all familiar with the routine of massive vomiting, central nervous system collapse followed by frothing gasping spasmodic death. Therefore if you suddenly see numerous fellow patrons losing their lunch make a swift exit (and avoid the buffet).

6. Impromptu Involuntary Zombie Impressions

Casino zombies

If you see someone looking something like this, run (photo: boweryboogie.com)

The final stages of VX contamination can, depending on the concentration of exposure, be violently horrific to witness and if you find yourself suddenly confronted by a grey faced individuals bleeding from their gums, frothing at the mouth and attempting to claw at you to gain your attention don’t dismiss them as a hipsters pretending they’re zombies, they might be the victim of a VX attack and be attempting to say that you should rush home to bet on sports in the US on your computer instead.

7. Death On The Gaming Floor

This is the easiest way to tell your local casino has had VX nerve gas pumped into its atmospheric control systems. Given that even the smallest quantity absorbed through the skin is fatal, one of the quickest indications that you should seek out Bet365 and its range of gambling opportunities at home instead is everyone in your local casino being a tad on the dead side. Dead people are easy to spot in casinos, they’re the ones lying on the floor in poses of death as grotesque as the pattern on the carpet.

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