Yes, cricket is the most boring sport. There, I’ve said it. Between the months of May and September, you can hear the familiar sound of leather against willow echoing through the English countryside. For the Americans among you, cricket is a team game, not a chirping bug! It also happens that cricket is the most boring sport in the history of all sports past, present and to come. Just thinking about it and my eyelids start getting heavy.
Introductions: Is Cricket the most Boring Sport?
Where to start? Is Cricket the most Boring Sport? (short answer is yes!). The game is like if baseball had an ugly child with chess. The game takes five days to play for God’s sake. And it more often than not, ends in a draw. There’s an element of English masochism involved. Like a cold bath or corporate punishment. All rather public school. It’s popular around England’s former colonies, places like India, Australia and the West Indies. Places that still have the Queen’s head on their stamps.
More Fun Watching Grass Grow
The origins of the game are unknown, though probably forgotten through sheer boredom. In the 16th century, some retarded shepherds used their shepherd’s staffs or “criccs” as bats and the wicker gate of the sheep pen was the wickets. In 1797 the Marylebone Cricket Club formulated a set of rules. It also set out a base playing field in St. Johns Wood, London, named Lords after the founding member of the club, Thomas Lord. Today this is the spiritual home of cricket. There you can pay an entrance fee and then watch the grass grow. Even the Brits voted cricket the most boring sport according to online sports book news in the UK. (FYI after Athletics and Golf). Funny thing is that you can even bet on the game using these online sports book sites in the UK. No wonder they cheat in order to spice things up.
The Basic Rules are Simple:
You have two sides, one out in the field and one indoors.
Each man that’s in goes out and when he’s out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.
When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
When both sides have been in and out, including the not outs — that’s the end of the game.
Time Enough to Grow a Beard
The biggest problem for the cricket spectator is that the game takes five days. Yes, at least that’s time to place a bet with 888sports, or take a holiday. That’s gonna make cricket the most boring sport from the get-go. I mean, who has the time for that! Secondly, it’s chock full of interruptions. For a start the bowler takes forever to just throw the bloody ball. He walks back slowly, prepares himself, finally takes a long run in, and then bowls the ball. There’s a good chance, if the batsman is still awake, he will miss it either on purpose or deliberately, and then the whole charade starts again. I’m not surprised that a percentage of the crowd retreats into getting drunk. Cricket is only slightly interesting if the batsman makes contact with the ball. But remember that the bowlers job is to ensure this can’t happen. They even tamper with the ball to ensure there’s no contact. And so the crowd suffers. Or sleeps.
The Village Drunks
But there is another side to cricket. And I don’t mean that women are now getting involved. At a local level, the game is a social one. In villages up and down the country, many an afternoon and evening can be spent with friends and acquaintances over on the village green. Inevitably there’s a pub next door and you can sit and watch the “match” whilst nursing a pint of fine English ale. With both the players and the onlookers drinking, the game takes on the form of a noisy pantomime. And maybe that’s the secret to enjoying the game….get blind drunk!