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How To Bet On Human Suffering Legally Despite The Law

UK gambling laws strictly ban the placing of any wager that involves human suffering. It is deemed morally reprehensible to even suggest such a thing. However, the more keen-eyed amongst you will instantly notice there’s a flaw in this prohibition. There are already plenty of events that encompass this facet of life. Some of them more obvious than others. So, if you wish to know how to bet on human suffering, here are seven ways to do it without legal sanction.

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1. The Eurovision Song Contest

Any music lover will instantly spot this for the torturous festival of agony that it really is. With hours of gaudy performances of mediocre melodies by horrifically saccharine artists it is hell on the senses. One only need look into the eyes of the hosts gallivanting through this cultural carnage to know the true horror. A bet on the Eurovision Song Contest is to wager on the torment of millions across a continent. So, learning how to bet on human suffering was never so easy.   

2. Bet On Boxing

Those trying to figure out how to bet on human suffering might overlook this obvious choice. The pugilistic arts attempt to play down the mammoth quantities of pain their adherents cause each other. However, if two people are repeatedly punching each other in the face for any length of time, someone is suffering. Anyone who puts a bet on sports in the UK regularly, and believes different, should try it. They’ll gain an epiphany on the subject as they hit the canvas. 

3. Politics, Home Or Away

Yes. I said it. It doesn’t matter who you vote for, or why, or when, or where, or who wins after you do so. Someone somewhere is going to suffer because of it. Despite this being self-evident, for some this concept grates. Perhaps because they believe politicians to be honest people selflessly serving their nation. These people haven’t been paying attention. So anyone seeking to know how to bet on human suffering without legal backlash can simply bet on politics today. 

4. Backing Norwich City FC In The EPL

Modern football is a great source of suffering, and not just because of the hairstyles. One simply needs to be insane enough to wager on the least able of teams in the league. This thus makes our list of tips on how to bet on human suffering because anyone who does it will be suffering. A bet on Norwich City at online betting sites in the UK like Bet365 is a self-flagellatory wager. Worse still one need only watch them play to know you’re not suffering alone. They feel it too.

5. Aussie “Rules” Football

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What a crazy sport! Crop by ShakataGaNai, Originally by thomasrdotorg [CC BY-SA] via Wikimedia Commons
The fact they had to put the word “rules” in the name says it all. There is no other real evidence of any. Betting on Aussie Rules Football is simply risking money on an organized fight with numbered participants. The misery of those coming off worse in the frequent bouts of fisticuffs on the pitch is manifest. You can tell which is which by the amount of blood. Thus, anyone wishing to know how to bet on human suffering need merely check out the odds at Bet356.   

6. Reality Television

Does this really need be explained? Have you seen what the “producers” of these shows make these poor deluded, attention seeking little peasants do? From bush tucker trials to tears in the diary room, it’s all suffering of one sort or another. The embarrassment levels alone are tantamount to criminal. A bet on reality television is a clear way to profit from the pain, anguish and discomfort of others at online sportsbook sites in the UK like Bet365. To deny this is silly. 

7. Wrestlemania

Well, you did want to know how to bet on human suffering legally. You only need to watch five minutes to know the participants are all in massive amounts of pain. Wrestling might be fixed but it’s not really fake. Every theatric throw, every dramatic body-slam, every clutching hold, these guys are in pain. The sort of pain no amount of drugs can numb. So bet on Wrestlemania and you wager on the already broken managing to stagger through the routine again without dying.

We take a look at how you can bet on human suffering without getting yourself in trouble with the law.

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