Entertainment

How To Gamble With Your Life In A Disaster Movie

Hollywood can teach us what to do in time of disaster so you don’t unnecessarily gamble with your life when the world comes under threat.

Gamble With Your Life

Once upon a time suggesting you might face a cataclysmic event was laughable. In 2020 it isn’t. Think this is as bad as it can get? Guess again. 2020 ain’t over yet. An alien invasion? Massive asteroid impact? Zombie apocalypse? None of these would be out of character this year. There’s still time. So, before you make your regular bet on sports in the UK at Bet365, read our quick guide so you don’t gamble with your life in a catastrophe. You just aren’t sure you won’t need it. 

1. Don’t Have Kids, Pets, Or Elderly Relatives

These will just get you killed. Being a parent of small children or moody teenagers is as good as a death sentence. From forgetting vital items to wandering off into harm’s way, they’re unpredictable and therefore hazardous. Your parental instincts to protect these little balls of danger will lead you to gamble with your life and see it end. The same applies to beloved pets and elderly relatives. Allowing your emotions to dictate your actions is simply a suicide bid.

2. Do Not Suffer From A Medical Condition

Under no circumstances should be in any way ill when disaster strikes. Having any long term malady, especially those requiring regular drug doses, is fatal. You gamble with your life going anywhere near a pharmacy. Between junkies, looters, and territorial gangs you won’t last long. It would be like hitting up any of the online betting sites in the UK like Bet365 and betting on Dominic Cummings to be the next Pope. So if you need medication, you’re already dead, baby. 

3. Never Serve In The Armed Forces

As Hollywood continues to demonstrate the easiest way to gamble with your life in a disaster is to wear a uniform. Whilst plucky civilians battle against the odds to survive it is invariably people in the military mown down in the background. Whether it’s a volcano gone rogue, a tsunami on the way or a solar flare strike, wearing a uniform paints a target on your back. In uniform, when catastrophe strikes you’re only moments from a gallant, glorious, and above all fatal sacrifice.

4. Don’t Use Any Suitable Vehicle

There is no easier way to gamble with your life than riding around during a disaster in a suitable mode of transport. You can employ an ice cream truck, golf-cart, or hearse to get around. That’s fine. Touch a 4×4, APC or similar and your life expectancy can be measured in minutes. Anyone used to playing the favorites at online sportsbook sites in the UK like Bet365 should thus avoid anything that looks in any way applicable to the situation. They’re just a death trap.

Gamble With Your Life
Just avoid vehicles

5. Remove All Faith In Authority

Unfortunately, just when you need them most, the powers that be tend to demonstrate they don’t really have any. Things will go to pieces faster than a hurled jigsaw. Thus any interaction with people claiming to be “the authorities” is to gamble with your life. The new power structures that arise in a disaster are always horrific. They range from wannabe-warlords to command-heavy cannibals. Oh and whilst that hippy commune looks like heaven, it’s as secure as a paper prison.

6. Avoid Boarding Any Helicopter

The Vietnam War has had many knock-on effects, not least of which is convincing everyone to “get to the chopper”. This is, in any major catastrophe precisely the wrong move. To even look at a helicopter is to gamble with your life. They rarely function as advertised, are easily shot down, and suffer a mechanical failure on the hour every hour. Helicopters are flying coffins. Anyone in the UK gambling laws of gravity can be so easily beaten in time of crisis need think again. They can’t.

7. Under No Circumstance Be Born Female

This is just unforgivable. During a disaster, all movie or TV representations seem to show us, being female makes you mindless, careless, frivolous, and overly emotional. Indeed this is such a handicap to survival that being female is to gamble with your life in the worst way possible. You might as well just give up. Unless Hollywood makes clear, there’s a well-meaning, rough-around-the-edges, guy nearby who can save you from the horrific birth-defect of being female.

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We take a look at how to avoid needing to gamble with your life when disaster strikes.

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