Premiership Rugby Teams May Not All Be English In Future

European champions Toulon want to become another of the Premiership rugby teams playing in the English competition, the only problem is they're French..........and it might lead to nuclear war.

Toodles To France For Toulon?
• French team wants English slot
• Boudjellal writes for “contact”
• Would deal spark a nuclear war?

One of the most common mistakes made when looking back at the Cold War is to believe that the United Kingdom possessed nuclear weapons in order to dissuade the Soviet Union from attacking either the shores of Blighty or those of Britain's allies.

This is, of course, absurd, and I'm gambling news of the real reason Britain developed and retained an independent nuclear deterrent having nothing to do with the enemy beyond the ideological divide that was the Iron Curtain will not surprise you too much. It wasn't designed to counter the array of Russian ICBMs ranged against us, it was designed to scare the French.

For the vast majority of history the French and English have been enemies, sure, since the first World War we've been “allies” but this has been very much a novel turn of events lasting about a century in a track record of over 1000 years that has included numerous invasions, massacres and manifest mutual dislike.

Even today the English remain jealous of the French for their reputation as wonderful cooks, superb lovers and their having the ability to elect people far more “cool” than we ever manage, whilst the French still dislike the English for constantly pretending they're still globally important despite the massive quantities of evidence to the contrary.

Euro Champs Reach Out To English Premiership

Thus it is quite a surprise to find out that Toulon, current European champions (for the third time in a row so far), have written to the bosses of the Premiership asking if they can become one of the Premiership Rugby teams in the future. Yes, that's right, the French team wants to play in England.


Team President, Mourad Boudjellal, who has had more than a few 'encounters' with the French domestic competition bosses over new regulations concerning pay and finances, has said Toulon becoming one of the Premiership Rugby teams would provide “a huge added value” to the table for those that like to bet on sports in France, England or anywhere else they wager on the eggchasers.

This is possibly true, and the somewhat surprised reaction from the Premiership rugby teams organizers was merely to confirm that they had received an email from the French club, however they were unwilling to go much further than that.

“It's a bit early for us to make formal response,” said a spokesman, “But we will be doing so in due course.” Adding (because these sort of people can't resist the temptation to blow their own trumpet in public even it means stating the bloody obvious) “It does show the appeal of Premiership rugby.”

Premiership Rugby Teams From France?

Yes, yes it does. The best team in France, and indeed Europe, wanting to become one of the Premiership rugby teams of a completely different country does demonstrate a level of attraction to the concept that hadn't previously been voiced very much, but if you're French gambling laws of mercenary commercial negotiation frames this merely as positional bargaining, Boudjellal may disappoint. He seems awfully earnest and not just

“I wrote for a contact.” He told the media. “If this is not possible the next season, maybe the one after that. For them [the English] besides a big first it would be a huge added value, and I'm serious in my approach.” The question is, however, will the French Rugby Federation be happy to see their star asset wander off to be the newest of the Premiership rugby teams playing in England?

Just how far will they go to prevent Toulon joining the Premiership rugby teams that you can bet on at Bet365 or similar week-in-week-out in the best competition of its type in the world? Who can say, but given the history between these two great nations (and the fact London beat Paris to host the 2012 Olympics) this latest slap in the face will not go unanswered. Start digging your fallout shelter now.