Seven Weird Bets You Can’t Make Online This Summer

In an uncertain world where England win on penalties, Valley Eyewear thought it was okay to use the Jasenovac death camp in their advertising and local newspapers like the Capital Gazette have become terrorist targets there is literally nothing “impossible” left, and in this brave new world of possibilities there are some weird bets to be made, even if the internet giants like Bet365 won't actually run a book on any of them. Just for example here's seven of the most interesting.

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1. Uganda To Impose An Oxygen Tax

President Yoweri Museveni put at tax on social media in Uganda this year in a move that is variously described as a sensible taxation measure to raise funds for broadband infrastructure expansion and also as an evil policy designed to curb critical comment of the government online. Regardless of your view this is but the first step on a slippery slope and while sites like Bet365 won’t let you wager on it if you’re into weird bets a few quid on Museveni imposing a tax on breathing soon is a definite must.

Uganda's Oxygen tax

2. Brexit Heralding The Beginnings Of A New British Empire

As weird bets go this one is, frankly, a bit of a long shot in the same category as a wager on alien invasion, the zombie apocalypse or the second coming of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. Jaguar, Airbus and BMW have all threatened to turn their backs on Britain post Brexit, but if you’re in the UK gambling news of these insults will go unpunished think again, under Emperor Jacob Rees-Mogg the new British Empire will have the last laugh as it again ascends to rule the world free of EU restraint. 

Brexit

3. Emmanuel Macron To Win The Tour De France

The French President spends his evenings partying at Nigerian nightclubs and his days rubbishing the idea of migrant processing centres in North Africa. He does this on the basis none of the actual North African countries involved seem at all interested in the EU’s new idea for exporting border control, and indeed the chances they will are as far removed from reality as the idea of hitting up Bet365 to bet on Emmanuel winning the Tour De France instead of the Chris “The Pharmacy” Froome of Team Sky.

Emmanuel Macron

4. Scarlett Johansson Staring In “The Rosa Parks Story”

Following the fuss over the casting of Tilda Swinton as an oriental character in Doctor Strange,  Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone in the much touted biopic of the famous singer and Johansson herself playing a transgender character in the upcoming Rub & Tug, it’s no great stretch to think some in Hollywood will start to do this on purpose to troll the press and so if you’re going to take advantage of UK gambling laws to place some weird bets on showbiz at Bet365 don’t forget this one, it’s inevitable.

Scarlett Johannsson

5. Donald Trump Appointing Kanye West To The Supreme Court

Painting itself into a corner faster than Thai kids finding higher ground in a flooding cave, and under the watchful management of Vladimir Putin, US politics got a surprise with the resignation of Anthony Kennedy and now faces a White House appointment dragging the court to the right, but with the 45th President of the USA anything is possible so any list of weird bets you can’t make really has to include the possibility of the outspoken showbiz star becoming the next Supreme court justice this summer.

Trump to appoint Kanye

6. The Pope To Declare A Holy War Against Google, Facebook & Amazon

Pope Francis might have put a new spin on the Catholic Church but the Vatican is reaching crisis point and will need something to distract people from its unsavory habit of child abuse like the UK press is trying to distract from Novichok poisonings in Wiltshire with the England World Cup victory over Colombia. What better than for Frankie to declare a jihad against the false idols of social media and modern technology? So it’s one of the more weird bets, but just picture Kim Dotcom burnt at the stake.

Holy War on Technology

7. World Peace Still Tops Weird Bets List

No list of weird bets would be complete without this old chestnut. As likely as Stormy Daniels becoming US ambassador to Iran, David Leyonhjelm becoming a feminist or Angela Merkel declaring an intention to annex the Sudetenland, this is just one of those long shots people can’t resist, like finding a Yeti or meeting Elvis Presley in Tesco, but if you really insist on foregoing a bet on sports in the UK this year you could do worse than wager on world peace breaking out, even if not at Bet365.

World Peace

 

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