Don’t Bet On Jousting Galloping Its Way To Tokyo

Posted: July 26, 2016

Updated: October 6, 2017

In a desperate attempt to distract people from the ongoing doping scandal that is tarnishing the 2016 Rio Olympics, English Heritage has launched a campaign to have yet another ancient form of killing people to be included in future games, but will you really be able to bet on jousting at the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo?

Olympic Jousting?
  • 1000 year old combat
  • Unseat opposing rider
  • Suit of armor & lance
I have in the past complained that far too many methods of inflicting death upon other people are, over lengthy periods of time, rendered obsolete in the world of killing and quietly transition to the world of sport. The 2016 Rio Olympic Games will feature the javelin, archery, fencing and numerous shooting events, for instance, but now English Heritage plans to make a bid to have the ancient combat paradigm of jousting included in future games. Yes, that's right, soon you could bet on jousting at the Olympics.

English Heritage Campaign
  • IOC meetings
  • Aim for 2020 recognition
  • Online petition begun
    Now for those of you not familiar with this piece of medieval macho muppetry jousting consists of two men on horseback in serious suits of armor charging down parallel lanes toward each other and attempting to unseat the opposing rider using a lance, which, if we're honest about it, is a long heavy stick, typically by having the tip of it slam into his chest. It was the sport of knights in days gone but soon those that like to bet on sports in the UK may find the opportunity to bet on jousting at Bet365.

    What Odds Will Bet365 Give On Jousting?


    We are being deadly serious.” English Heritage project head Lucy Hutching insists. “It's an incredible spectator sport.” Which is just what you'd expect her to say now an online petition has been launched and meetings have been held with the International Olympic Committee, English Heritage having bet on jousting being recognized in time for the 2020 games in Tokyo. “We absolutely believe it deserves its place at the Olympic table.” Which I'm guessing English Heritage believes ought to be round.

    Jousting
    Jousting coud be great Olympic sport (Photo: Riotfest)

    Reaching a peak in popularity around the 15th and 16th centuries well after the days of true knights had long gone, Dominic Sewell, a keen joustard himself, and part of the campaign says that jousting should be seen as England's original national sport, something many would object to since it was only ever really participated in by rich kids, the aristocracy, and that hardly makes it national, and if you're in the UK gambling news of its inclusion in the Olympics might open it up to more people, think again.

    Don't Bet On Jousting Being For Anyone But The Rich


    It still costs quite a bit to own a horse and armor, you'll find few poor urban kids bet on jousting as a way out of the gutter, but perhaps more objectionable is the fact that it's quite cruel to train a horse to carry someone wearing a couple of dozen kilos of armor as fast as it can towards another charging animal with a shiny metal moron atop it. Horses don't do it naturally, they have to be forced to accept it, and they risk serious injury just as much as the idiots on top of them. The Olympics doesn't need this.

    UK gambling laws might well accommodate the odd recreational bet on jousting at Bet365 in the future but those that believe it will feature in the 2020 Olympic games in Tokyo are in cloud cuckoo land. Any sport that hasn't made the Olympics after 1000 years of hanging around probably isn't going to make it, and the IOC isn't going to approve anything that might, just might, end up with someone getting skewered through the face by a pole live on television. I'm all for the rich killing each other, I just don't think the rest of us should be made to watch nor the horses forced to take part in this stupid anachronism. Jousting? It'll be bloody Pokemon Go! next.

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